How we got here

Well here we are, officially on our way. Tickets are purchased and the packing has begun.  As I have expressed before, I am in disbelief that I will be on my way to AFRICA, for crying out loud, in just a matter of days.  A dream of mine is about to come true, and I can actually cross something off the proverbial bucket list.  In less than 2 weeks, we will have met our new children for the first time and stood before an Ethiopian judge who will declare them as Mateyokes.  If this whirlwind of an adoption tale seems too good to be true, it is.  It is better than anything I could have written and I want to share with you why...

Several people have recently asked us how we got here.  What led us to adoption?  Why Ethiopia?  Why two children when we already have three?  I shared in our original post the basic answer to the WHY.  But at this point, I want to give details.  I want to tell you about how God has orchestrated all of the details up until now.

God planted a seed in my heart for adoption as a young girl.  When my own sister began to build her family through adoption, I quietly observed, wondering if we would ever be so fortunate to experience similar blessings.  So I began to pray.  I prayed for God to give my husband the same desire that I had towards adoption.  I prayed earnestly and consistently.  After about six months, my daughter expressed an interest in adopting a sister and she too began to pray that "God would let us adopt".  This was Cameron's prayer for several months. Every time she prayed, that is what she said.  What can I say but that God heard mine and Cameron's prayer, and he answered.  After approximately one year of praying for Greg's heart to be led toward adoption, he expressed to me that he was ready and excited to pursue international adoption.  The reason we chose Ethiopia at this point was because of a consistent pull in both of our hearts towards a country stricken with poverty and disease.  We both felt very convicted that we could best share God's love and provision with a child that may never have a chance of a fulfilling life, or worse yet, of hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

After our decision was made to pursue adoption and how we would go about it, we had to decide what "parameters" we would request for a child.  Since one of the influences was our daughter's desire for a sister, we stated that we would like to be considered for a girl up to age 6.  Cameron was 6 at the time we began the process.  We also stated that we would accept two children if there was a sibling set. I remember when our social worker, Lyndsey, called me one day after all of our paperwork had been submitted.  She wanted to double check our parameters to make sure that we were ready to get on the "waiting list".  She said, "What is your ideal referral?"  Meaning, what age and gender do you really want.  After some hesitation (because come on, it just doesn't feel right to special order a child!), I said, "well... I guess we would love to get a 4-6 year old little girl."  She stated that they would make note of our "true preference" even though we were approved for either gender birth to age 6.  Oh, but in the meantime, after learning that the wait time would be longer than we expected, we decided to change that age 6 to age 7, since Cameron would be turning 7 long before we would get a referral.

Another thing to note here, is that as a family, we began to pray for our adoption.  We prayed for our daughter, that God would protect her and provide for her until we could bring her home.  We prayed that God would send her to us in his timing.  However, my timing was not lining up with God's timing and I got impatient.  Every month, our agency sent out an email with a new wait list number and a list of "waiting children" who for whatever reason were not matched with a family.  Anyone on the waiting list could inquire about these waiting children and then proceed to adopt them.  There were several children that I eyeballed on that list, and several times I elbowed Greg.  "What about this one?  That is exactly what we want!  Couldn't we consider that child?" And after each time that I elbowed Greg, he answered with a solid no, and a reminder that we were trusting God to send us our child through our agency.  They were in fact a Christian agency whom we trusted to present us with a referral that was best fitted for us.  I did not like that answer, but knew in my heart that he was right.  We had to wait on God for this one. 

After 7 months on the waiting list, a referral seemingly nowhere in sight (we had gone from #94 to #68), I began to doubt. Doubt that it would happen and doubt that God had really led us on this journey.  I am so glad that even when I doubt and waver in my faith, God does not change His plan.  All along, He knew what was waiting for us right around the corner.  He knew what would happen that very last day of April. 

It was a Tuesday morning like any other.  I had packed all three kids in the van, grabbed my bottled water, and raced out the door to make it to my workout class in time.  About halfway there, my phone rang.  I fetched it out of my purse and read "Lifeline" while it kept ringing.  "Lyndsey is calling to check on us because NOTHING is happening and I have to pretend that I am NOT growing very impatient," is what I thought.  "Hello, Julie, it's Lyndsey.  Do you have a minute?  I know that you are approved for a girl up to age 7, but we want to know if you would consider an 8 year old girl who has a 5 year old brother?"  "Um, what?" I thought, not remembering one word of what I said back to Lyndsey.  Total shock.  This was not supposed to happen for at least another year.  That's what I had told everyone that recently asked how the adoption was going.  I asked Lyndsey if I could call her back.  I needed to call Greg and I was on my way to the Y.  I must get my workout in.  So I call Greg, barely able to get my mouth to work, and somehow manage to share what I was just told.  Still not thinking of it as a referral, I answer the kids' questions who have heard everything at this point, and proceed to my exercise class.  After about two minutes in, I realize that I can not concentrate.  My mind is racing, replaying the conversation, and finally realizing that this is an actual referral.  I decide to excuse myself from class and head out to the van so I can call Lyndsey back and get the scoop.  You see, I have this hyper emotional response that kicks in whenever I am caught off guard.  I tend to freeze up and don't know what to say and I can't think straight.  After asking basic questions, I head to Greg's work so that we can receive the pictures and information on the children together. 

The pictures and information we received were different than what we expected.  "Wait just a minute God..., what?... this isn't what we were thinking.  Don't you know what we wanted?"  After Lesley explained everything to us about the documents, she told us that we had a week to decide if we would accept the referral of these two children. We hung up the phone and my husband gave me that smile that I have come to expect in these monumental moments.  The smile along with his calm presence that told me everything would be okay.  "But what about...?"  We had a lot to think about and talk about later.  He had to get back to work and I had to get out of there. 

I am so thankful for those friends and family that have committed to praying for our adoption journey.  You see, when someone tells me that they are praying, it is times like these that I know those prayers were heard.  At this point in my day, I needed a word from God, and I needed it bad.  I became a basket case as I thought of what it would mean if we did or did not accept the referral.  My mind began to race, but this time with fear and confusion.  In hindsight, I believe that the enemy was flooding my mind with fear and doubt.  However, because of all those prayers that were lifted on our behalf, God moved in me.  Praise God, he reached down, touched my heart, and changed the course of our lives by gently reminding me to trust in Him.  Through reading scripture, prayer, and very wise counsel, I realized that this was our crossroads of faith.  This is where "the rubber meets the road" and when we had to decide if we would jump in, trust God, give him our all, or if we would play it safe and continue to control our own path with our own agenda.

So here we are... we decided to accept that referral of two healthy siblings, ages 5 and 8ish...  Realizing that this post is way longer than I intended, I will save the other exciting details for later.  Just know that God has given us peace and hope as we trust in His plan for our family.  We are about to burst with excitement and anticipation of what He has in store for our new family of 7.  We can now rest in the truth of this word straight from His mouth:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11



                 
      

Yes, this is really happening!

It has been just over a month since we accepted our referral.  Although we have come out of our initial "shock", I still think that I need to pinch myself on most days.  A good friend laughed at me when I told her I didn't believe this was really happening. I want to share so many things, particularly our referral day (as many fellow adoptive parents love to hear, I have learned), but frankly I have not had the time to gather all of my thoughts and communicate the day that changed our lives.  We have been busy thinking of everything we need to do to prepare for two more children.  Overwhelming to say the least, but in such a good way.  We (all 5 of us) are so excited that we can't stand it.  Clay keeps asking when we are going to adopt, if it is going to be Friday.  He is ready for his brother.  Below is a picture of his new bunk bed.  He has claimed the top but I have a feeling the two of them will be squeezed together up there for a while. 



In addition to home renovations, evidence that this adoption really is happening is that the Preliminary Court Hearing (PH) is scheduled for tomorrow, June 3rd.  After this takes place the judge will assign a court date for us to attend.  We have been told that this date is typically 4-6 weeks after the first court hearing.  We have also gathered that most people receive this date 1-2 weeks after the PH.  So we hope to hear in a couple weeks that we will be traveling to Ethiopia very soon!  Like my dear friend told me, I better get ready, because this IS happening.

We appreciate your prayers for a smooth and "typical" process.  We are reminded that we have no control over what happens in court tomorrow or for the rest of this process.  But we know without a doubt that God led us here and he will carry us and our future children through it all. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways

 

acknowledge him and he will make your path straight."  Proverbs 3:5,6