"In a minute," is one of the few English phrases that my daughter can say well, American accent and all. I don't know if it's because she has heard me say it so much since she has been home, because I say it in a sing-song voice as I am calling back to one of my children across the house, or if it is because she can sense my frustration of having to repeat it over and over to my little people. Whatever the case, she has it down. This is how our conversation went today: I say, "It's time to go to your room for a bit. I will be up there in a minute." Ruth says, "in a minute, Mommy" (points to me). "In a minute, me?" (points to self). I respond, "Me, yes, in a minute. You, right now." She smiles and goes back to painting her toenails, as if she doesn't understand what "right now" means.
As I finished my task of washing dishes (and yes, she did proceed to go to her room after the toenails were painted), I realized my lesson was in the words that my daughter can say so beautifully. God had answered my prayer of revealing something to me, something good from this mess of a week we had, something to show me that he is in fact present in our family right now.
A wise friend spoke these words to me yesterday morning (without me telling her any details of the tumultuous week): "persevere, it will get better." An adoptive parent recently told my husband that adoption is often living out what the Bible teaches on love when it doesn't come naturally. My mind was suddenly connecting all of these words of others and I realized that God was speaking to me. Before today, I already knew what the Bible says about love, especially in 1 Corinthians 13: "Love is patient...." Even though I had memorized it several times, I had never thought about why God would list patience as the first virtue of love. As a parent trying to teach my children to be patient, I am beginning to understand. Patience is for their own good. Patience will help them in every area of their life. Patience will build their character. If they learn to wait now, it will help them later in life. To love others and to love God, they must be patient. They must learn to put their own needs and wants aside and wait, sometimes blindly, submitting to authority.
I realized then that although I am training my children to be patient, I expect them to obey immediately. Yes, it is okay for Mommy and Daddy to take their time in answering you, but you must obey as soon as we ask. It sounds harsh as I type it, but is that not how it is with God? God trains us to be patient, but he expects us to obey while we wait.
You see, this lesson that I so desperately need right now is to be patient. We have been home just over 3 weeks from Ethiopia with two new members of our family. I will not lie. It has been hard. It has been trying. It has been a struggle to transition from a comfortable family of 5 to an awkward family of 7. Anyone that has asked me how it is going has received an honest answer. However, with my honesty of the reality of our life right now comes a shout out to a God that I KNOW is rooting for us. He told me just today what Greg and I need the most of to get through this: PATIENCE (to be of a long spirit, not to lose heart; to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles- Vine's Expository Dictionary). I am so glad that God is patient with me. He knew the virtue I needed to work on first when I practice loving my children, thus listing it at the very beginning of a well-known chapter. Because He has loved me so and because He is so patient with me, I will be patient with them. I will "persevere" as my friend said, and not loose heart because I can't wait to see what God does with this awkward family.
"Love is patient" 1 Corinthians 13:4
